3.4 ounces and a Javelin

The fair skinned, red-headed woman stood obediently in the airline security checkpoint line, inching forward with the throng of other travellers at a breathtaking speed comparable to that of a herd of turtles. They were progressing forward toward the greatly anticipated  and highly coveted honor of having themselves scrutinized by total strangers. What would the modus operandi be today…..  a “whole body X-ray scan” or perhaps the exhilarating “puff” machine that is supposed to analyze the particles it blows loose for potential threats. The woman could hardly contain her anticipation! Only time would tell. She ran through her mental checklist as she approached the[…]

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The Smoke Detector Strikes Again!

We all know that we should have smoke detectors somewhere in our houses and offices and anyplace where we are staying. And to be on the safe side you should check them regularly to be sure that they are still in working condition. Most smoke detectors have a button on them that you push and the shrill alarm goes “beep”, just to make sure they are working properly. My mom uses a much simpler way to check them. She cooks! Now, she’s not a bad cook, in fact she has always amazed me with “a dash of this” and a[…]

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Bugs, Dust, and Flat Screen TV’s

Rrrrrrrrraawwwwwrr!  Rummmmmbbble! Rattle.  Clank! Aaaaachooo!  Sniffle. Sniffle. Buzzzzz.  Buzzzzz. Slap! The woman squinted into the sun that was already streaming in as she rolled over in bed and looked at her watch. 5:07 AM. Seriously? 5:07 AM, on VACATION for Pete’s sake? And then she remembered. This was NOT a vacation in a 5 star hotel (not that she had been to a 5 star hotel but a girl could dream!). No, this was a CAMPING vacation. A camping vacation complete with trains that rattled and roared past the campground all day and night. Complete with dust and allergies, itchy eyes[…]

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Superfluous Swine

Hip, Hip, Hooray! Happy National Pig-in-a-Blanket Day! Certainly you remember this glorious day, when mom actually considered hot dogs “fine dining” and she allowed you to eat with your fingers and didn’t scold you? Well, today is that day! The American tradition of Pigs-in-a-Blanket consists of hot dogs, Vienna sausages, or breakfast sausages wrapped in biscuit dough, croissant dough or a pancake and then baked until golden brown. Yum! But did you know there actually ARE pigs in blankets?  Prime examples of these superfluous swine are the Curly Coat pigs of Lincolnshire in the east of England (extinct since 1972) and the Mangalitza pigs of Austria[…]

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Levitated Lavatory Lamentations

The woman had successfully stuffed a week’s worth of clothing, plus all the gifts and trinkets she had purchased while on vacation, into her carry-on bag.  She now awaited security with baited breath… Would she be among the “lucky” souls to win the “Meticulous-Take-Everything-Out-Of-Your-Bag-So-It-Won’t-Fit-Back-In” Lottery? Or perhaps today she would hit the jackpot and be selected for the “Full-Body-Cavity-Search-Extravaganza”! One could only hope….With fingers crossed and breath held in joyous anticipation, she inched closer to the unsmiling uniformed TSA officer. He stood with arms crossed and brow furrowed,  appearing as if at any moment he would utter Gandolf’s commanding cry, “YOU SHALL[…]

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Attack of the Huge Green Monster

Bang! Bang! Bang! (loud expletive)….hammer, hammer, (very exuberant expletive) ….grunt, saw, saw, saw. (double expletive….) What do you mean I measured once and cut twice and it’s still too short???  To anyone who has ever remodeled their house and lived to tell about  it, I salute you!  Doing it yourself is certainly something to be proud of but how does a simple project end up turning into a huge green monster?  Many years ago the idea of adding  a “small” glass sun room on the back of our house (drawn meticulously on a napkin of course)  turned into a less[…]

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The Smell of Money (and other “Unmentionables”)

As our days get increasingly warmer here in Western Nebraska, the “smell of money” begins to fill the air. Now ~ I grew up as a “big city kid” so when I first moved to rural Nebraska,  I had no idea what people meant by that saying: “the smell of money”. All I knew was that it smelled BAD!  (If you are also a “big city kid” and don’t know what I’m talking about, I’ll let you in on a little secret….  apparently “money” smells exactly like cow poop!)  Recently, there was another smell emanating through the Valley and it was coming from my backyard! Spring has[…]

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Come Heck or High Water

The camera focuses on a family enjoying a nice day out on the lake in a small boat. The camera pans out and we discover not a lake and a lovely day for a picnic…but rather, we see submerged roof tops and water cluttered with debris. The helicopter suddenly appears overhead, extends a lift system and raises the family to safety. Something like this always “happens to someone else”. Watch the video below to see flooding happening to other Nebraskans. This demonstrates that the possibility of floods happening in “land locked”, “drought ridden” Nebraska is not so far fetched. Have you[…]

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How many people does it take to change a light bulb?

How many people does it take to change a light bulb? I’m sure you have heard that joke or some semblance thereof…..but it’s a VERY valid question. Picture this: 22 feet of wiggly, wobbly, spaghetti-like track lighting 6 arms and hands a less than desirable working environment 4 feet above your head so all the blood rushes away from your fingers and they go to sleep (which is preferable to the burning sensation your shoulders and back feel from straining to keep the track aloft!) Oh, and did I forget to mention the swear words? (No home improvement project is complete without[…]

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Is Santa an Insurance Nightmare?

Happy Holidays to you!  I know that sometimes insurance companies seem ask incessant questions and may appear to be overly picky when they make recommendations for safety improvements, however, they are just trying to ensure that your home, auto, or business is in the best position to withstand and hopefully avoid any loss or damage. Sometimes insurance companies have to worry about loss exposures that are quite hazardous and unique. With this in mind, I wanted to share the following with you that I received from a insurance company colleague of mine. The scenario is that an insurance agent has[…]

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